I recently heard the story “Father Forgets” by W. Livingston through an audio book I was listening to.
I love getting motivated through books, podcasts, audio-books, and by following motivational people on social media. Today I want to share the story “Father Forgets” it has inspired me, and I hope it may inspire you as well.
It’s an old story but it’s still relatable. It’s about a father and son, and being a father myself it really struck a cord with me.
Father Forgets, by W. Livingston Larned
“Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.
There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast, I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came Up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before you boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive – and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding – this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing buy a boy – a little boy!”
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.”
Well what did you think? How did you feel after reading this? I must admit I got a little teary eyed when I first hear it.
Being a Father, I know I have tons of room for self improvement. My lifelong goal is to better myself everyday. I love my boys and would do anything for them.
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Where did I hear Father Forgets?
I originally heard “Father Forgets” in the audio book “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age” by Dale Carnegie and Associates. This book is an adaption of his original book originally published in 1936. It is one of the best selling books of all time.
I had heard of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” many times in other books and by friends so I decided to check it out. I also found out my Grandfather read some Dale Carnegie books back in his day and even attended a course. The Father forgets story is just one bit of inspiration I got from this amazing book. I listened to the book from Amazon Audible. You can sign up for Audible and get two books free. (Disclaimer at no extra charge to you I may receive a small commission) I used the Audible trial for many years, getting my free books and cancelling my membership never paying a dime. I now have a gifted membership my father purchased for me that lets me get 6 books. Many library’s also have a copies of this book you can check out for free.
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I plan on writing more motivational articles like this. Do you think you’d enjoy them? Please let me know and I will keep up with them.
Dale Carnegie was born in Missouri. Check out our articles Iv’e written from traveling in his home state.
So true. We sometimes try to “teach” our children in ways that end up just being critical. Let’s think this through better next time.